Death and Taxes...

In loving memory of Mariska and Cornel.

There are certain things you can always count on in this world. The two that will always be constant is death and taxes. Death will always find you wherever you are; you can’t out run it or hide from it because it knows you’re every move. Taxes pretty much work the same way. Every year like clockwork you have to file your returns and hope that the tax man approves.

Tomorrow I have to say goodbye to two great people who left this world of ours so abruptly and violently. In the prime of their lives they have been taken away from all who admired, adored and loved them. I never thought that one day I would be sitting here writing this blog about these two special people. Having known both Mariska and Cornel for close to fifteen years and admiring the love they had for each other I still find it hard to believe that this is the end. They were the ultimate example of how true love can last a lifetime and that real love does exist and that you can actually live the fantasy of settling down with your high school sweetheart.

When I was at my lowest point with discovering my own sexuality and dealing with puberty Mariska was there to offer a shoulder and push me to go on and be positive. When I was on the verge of giving up she was the one that taught me to see the silver lining to every dismally grey could. Cornel was always the strong silent type and although he did not speak much about matters of the heart, like most men do, he was there to offer his support when needed and always brought a realistic point of view just to remind you that the answers to the questions are actually that simple.  He always had acceptance and understanding for me no matter what. I loved them and they loved me and there was nothing that could come between us.

When I think of all the awesome times we had together I feel the tears well up inside me and wonder why. Why were these two solid, grounded and decent people taken so early from us?

 I suppose this should be a reminder to us that we are all here on borrowed time and any of us can go at any time. There is no recipe for longevity and there is no guarantee that you will see the light of day tomorrow. We so often get caught up in our hectic lives with, work projects, traffic, and schedules we often forget to just sit and admire our world and realise how truly blessed we are. When your time is finally up how would you like to be remembered? What kind of legacy would you want to leave behind? These are the questions we should be asking ourselves and really take the time to think about it before we answer.

I am not much of a believer in the afterlife and I don’t know what comes next. I do trust in the fact that it has been decided for us and that we are mere puppets on a string. However I do take comfort in the fact that they left this world together because I simply can’t imagine the one without the other. They simply completed each other on so many levels and if God or the Universe were to separate these true sole mates it would have been a true injustice.

I once saw a numerologist who explained to me that when we start out in this world we start as a perfectly formed egg. At birth the egg yolk and egg white gets separated and we basically spend the rest of our lives looking for our other half. The yolks look for their egg whites and the egg whites look for their yolks. Mariska and Cornel managed to find each other early in their lives and most of us can only dream of finding such a lasting and true love as theirs.

Though I am saddened at the thought of them not being around, and have regret about not seeing them as often as we should have. I feel so blessed and honoured and privileged to have had them in my life and that I was able to call them true friends.

Time and space might have separated us but the way I feel about you two has and will never change. I am so thankful for the time that we had together because it helped to shape me into the person I am today. Without your love support and encouragement I would not have be as blessed as I am today.

Wherever you are I hope that you are there together and that you continue share that strong bond of love and commitment you had here on earth.

With all my undying love…

Heinie

To Tan Or Not To Tan

Life is all about experiences. Some are good and some are bad and then there are some that really bring back the humour in your life. I recently had a few like this but the most memorable one would have to be me and the “tan can”. I thought I would share this funny story with everyone to brighten their day.

Let me start at the beginning though.   This year was my big 30^th birthday and not only mine but also my great long-time friend as well. So we decided that we need to go big this year to celebrate it like there is no tomorrow. It worked out great because we would also be celebrating another friend’s birthday during the same period. So after much discussion and deliberation we decided to take a much deserved holiday to the tropical island of Mauritius. The sun, the sand the crystal clear waters, what could be better than spending time with great friends in a perfectly relaxed setting like this. The plans were hatched and the trip was booked all that remained now was to pack and get into holiday mode.

However with me things are never that simple… One morning while dressing for work I noticed a blinding light coming from the mirror in front of me. At first I was afraid, I was petrified but then I realised that the blinding light was the glow of my pale white flesh after a long cold winter. As you can imagine this was a serious stumbling block for me and my enjoyment in paradise. I could just see the people on the beach running frantically in different directions to hide from the light. This was not going to work and I needed to make a plan and do it very quickly. I looked at spray tans but those make me very nervous as I would really not like to look like a distant cousin of the orange family. So I went on the look for alternatives like sunbed, or as I like to call it hell in a box. If you have ever gone for one of those sessions you will know what I mean. At the time though I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. During a conversation with a friend at worked he recommended a place and turns out that he was also keen on going to get some colour on him. This was perfect as I really did not feel like doing this alone, so we made the booking and went for it.

The first session is always the most important as this lays the foundation for your tan lines and also exposes you to the wholes experience if you’re new to it. I wish someone had been kind enough to inform me of this critical point. Me being the over eager beaver that I am, stripped down to my underwear, sprayed some tanning oil and jumped in to the tan can. In hindsight I should have paid more attention to where I was spraying the tanning oil, or more importantly where I was not spraying.  In the first few seconds of roasting myself I decided that my underwear was why to high up and pulled them down slightly thus exposing my pale, unoiled flesh to the grill. At first I thought nothing of this and did my full ten minutes. When I got out I looked red all over but that was mainly from the heat. By the time I was walking to my car my mid-section was screaming at me. I got home and took a hot shower which was excruciating. You see not only did I move my underwear and not spray the lotion in that area but I also missed a very large section on my back and my thighs. The back was not the worst but the midsection resulted in me not being able to walk or sit properly for at least 4 days. Upon further investigation of my back I found that I did spray parts of my back but neglected to rub the lotion in over the entire area. As a result of that I was left with perfectly round white patches on my back where I had actually sprayed and the rest was a bright red. The first thing that came to mind was: “You look like a freaking cheetah”.

My friend had the same problem I had and turns out we both missed the plot completely when it came to this tanning thing. We decided that with the next session we would double check each other and make sure there is lotion everywhere but of course the damage had been done and we both had the cheetah spots on our backs. We went for a few more sessions to try and get it right but it made no difference. The only sure thing that came out of this was the hysterical laughter from both of us as we examined each other’s wounds.

I ended up going to the lovely island paradise with my spots in the hopes that the natural tanning method used for millenniums would help but as of this morning’s examination in the mirror I found that even though slightly faded the spots remain. I did manage to get a great tan all over while in paradise so it’s not all doom and gloom and I think the spots have grown on me, it definitely does add character to my back…

So if you do decide to go for the tan, make sure you apply the lotion properly, you might end up releasing that inner cheetah if you don’t…