Hey all its your favourite undercover reporter here… Been so busy studying my subject, Heini, and not to mention the busy social life that I have. Party, party, party all the way. But I am back with an exclusive report on the dating life of the fabulously, gorgeous Heini.
So last time I gave you a report it was about that horrible little Italian man that took Heini for more than just one ride. Again I must say that the combination of a one night stand, a short man and an Italian was just a recipe for a disaster. Well sisters I am happy to report that the Italian is ancient history and believe me that he will not be returning to feature in Heini’s dating schedule.
So since the “Italian Job” there has not been that much action in his dating life. He has been keeping a fairly low profile and just chatting to a few interesting characters online. They all basically want is the same thing but there are some that have a bit more intellect than your average “no stings” bunnies that just want to hop in and out. One in particular seemed promising and that there could be some possibilities for a few good dates and who knows a bit more.
So there he was chatting up a storm one Sunday afternoon with a very charming and fairly attractive young guy from the East Rand . We all know how that the East Rand has a reputation for being a bit common but hey the guy seemed nice and I have met quite a few people form the area that are actually rather pleasant. This is all just speculation and the area is not that bad at all.
They chatted about their favourite foods, what they like to do in their free time and what they do for a living.
Heini was rather impressed as this guy was just too good to be true. He asked all the right questions and gave all the right answers. He even told him about the straight guy situation and the guy was absolutely fine with it. He simply replied that it’s fine and that it is in the past, all that matters is the future. Well my word my flamboyant gentlemen the man is a rock star. What a pleasure. Heini agreed and it did not take long for numbers to be exchanged. So after a good couple of messages Heini was rather content with himself and went to bed with a smile on his face.
Well it did not stop there. The next day Heini got messages throughout asking how his day was and how things were going. This continued throughout the week and it was such an awesome experience to have that kind of communication for a change. A complete 360 degree turn around from the usual communication from the fags. They did not manage to set up a meeting in that first week due to both their hectic schedules but the communication was flowing. He even asked Heini if he can call him to just hear his voice. How sweet was that? Who would not want a guy like that, someone who actually wants to talk to you? But there comes a point where there is such a thing as overkill. Constant communication is a bit of a challenge when you have an actual job that needs your undivided attention and Heini draws the line where you have to constantly respond to one-liner messages throughout the day. And heaven forbid that you don’t respond in the first five minutes because then you get a message asking what’s wrong or why are you not responding.
Heini was still willing to give this a shot though and thought that even though this might be a bit of overkill; this might in fact be what he was waiting for. So the date was set for the Friday night. Heini would go the gentleman suitor’s house where a lovely meal would be cooked and some drinks would be shared. But mister wanted a bit more from the night clearly. He was very insistent that Heini spend the night as it would be so convenient and its way to far to drive home so late at night. Sure and I am the Madonna… So after the 20th message in the space of 24 hours Heini started to feel slightly annoyed and not so into this guy. And when mister replied saying that if he does not sleep over they should rather postpone the date until a time when he can sleep over. Well that was just the deal breaker and sent that ship sinking into the abyss. Much like the Titanic after hitting the iceberg, and boy that message was absolutely the iceberg for Heini. So he duly responded saying that the postponement was acceptable, but in a more dull and annoyed tone and less words.
What really took this matter to the next level was the response that came from sir. The message read something to the effect of: This is now the second time you are cancelling the date and he wants to know if there is someone else in Heini’s life because he gets that impression. OH MY WORD… can you be any more needy and psychotic. The first time the date was cancelled as neither of them could make it. The response that came next from Heini was not pretty but straight to the point. At this stage it was irrelevant if there was someone else in his life and the fact that he wants him to stay over at his house was not negotiable. For the record there is no one else in Heini’s life but like I said that is irrelevant because this was only a first date and there have been no commitments or confessions of undying love yet.
Needless to say that there was no communication after this little incident. Heini was rather shocked at the situation but having survived The Straight One, The Cheetah and the Italian Job there really should not be much that surprises him any more.
The bottom line is that yes you want that someone special in your life. You want to have a message at some point in the day just to see how you are. You want to have that late afternoon call to say “Hey I just wanted to hear your voice”. All of this comes with time and it really needs to develop into that relationship. When you jump right in like that and overwhelm the person like that from the start you are going to set yourself up for failure. Just look at the whole fiasco with The Cheetah that Heini went through. Overkill is alive and well people and often happens when you have been so alone and single for so long that you really just want to spend all your time with that person. Your intentions are pure and you don’t mean to overwhelm this person but you find yourself helpless to stop the vicious cycle of annoying messages and the need for constant validation. Heini has gone through this, believe me, and having been on the receiving end of that now has really opened his eyes to the world of dating and given more perspective on the do’s and don’ts. You want to find that balance where you can show the person that you are interested but not to the point where you confess your undying love on the second date.
My personal opinion, which Heini also shares, is that when it is real and when it is pure none of this matters. It all simply falls perfectly into place…patience is the key.
Well my queerlings, fag hags and straighties, until we meet again or until the next crises unfold look after your self’s…
And remember… happy hunting…
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