The Rebound Guy...

We all know that when you enter the dating game or put yourself on the market that you really need to stay away from the rebound guys because there really is no future with any of them. They want a quick fix so they can feel better about breaking up with the love of their life and you are just merely passing by. Think of him as a race car driver on a grand prix circuit. You are in the pits and he is Michael Schumacher that’s just pulling in for a quick refill and tyre change. There is no long term potential and although I can agree that there are always exceptions to the rule it is still very rare.

The rebound guy is the most dangerous of specimens in the dating world. The whole bruised and battered look is attractive and sweet just long enough to hook you. Much like an injured gazelle setting a very clever and cunning trap. You go for a date and because he is emotionally vulnerable he really pays a lot of attention to you and acts like he understands. He is committed to having a good time with you and really for that moment in time you really feel like you have a connection with him. You may end up going back to his place and having mind blowing sex and you may even think that it is the best that you have ever had and that this is absolutely the one you were waiting for. But oh how wrong you are my little protégé.

The whole reason that all this has transpired so phenomenally well is because he is trying to forget about his ex and that the morning after he realises that you are not the ex and that he is still very much in love. Nothing you do compares to your predecessor. You don’t drink the coffee he made the same way as the ex, you don’t follow the same routines that the ex does and no matter what you do, you just don’t compare in anyway. Last night you were fantastic and today you have to fight a battle against an invisible enemy. You wait for his call in vain and the text messages you send goes unanswered. This makes you clingier and seem needier which is only a further turn off for the wounded gazelle, and only sends him deeper in to the depths of Rebound Ville and reminding him of all the great things of the ex. He feels remorse for having slept with you and pretending to be into you but he is still not over the lover boy that broke his heart.

I am that guy…

After a rather fast paced day filled with challenges around every corner, I suddenly and out of nowhere realised that I am that Michael Schumacher passing through many pits. I am that rebound guy… Well as you can imagine this realisation comes with both shock and horror and you can just imagine the look on my face when this epiphany struck like lightning. I have become the gazelle and now I was the wounded victim trying to forget about someone by testing the waters with every man I could find. This naturally by no means makes me a slut but hey we all have our cross to bear. But then again sluts do have more fun and hey as long as you’re safe what’s the harm in living a bit more adventurous.

After seeing him again today I just realised that the last two months has just been a pause in the highway called life. I have gotten stronger and I feel more in control but the fact of the matter is that I am still in love with him and every man that comes into my life simply does not compare to him. They don’t laugh the same way, walk the same way, wink at me with that naughty grin on his face or make the jokes that he does. I am comparing every single person to him and no matter how I try I cant get him out of my head. After a 2 month break you would expect that things have changed and that I would be over this by now but how wrong I was. I did not expect to see him but the moment I saw him I had butterflies and felt this overwhelming feeling of contentment and joy. It pisses me off that he has this hold on me and that we have no future together, we never did. The fact that he has put on a few extra kg’s does not even matter. He is still the same guy I fell for three years ago.

I don’t have the answers and I sure as hell don’t know right from wrong all the time but I do know that this has no happy ending and that going down this road and taking that off ramp will only lead to a dead end.

Sometimes you have to just step back and look at the situation from a different angle to determine where you need to go. Let’s hope I figure this out soon.