Internet dating is clearly not the way to go even in this modern day and age. I have been a slave to the internet romance generation for the longest time and now I think my eyes have finally opened.
Naturally it has been fun and I have had loads of adventures but I am still no closer to finding something real or substantial that will last longer than the few hours of boring online chatting. It has become so routine and predictable. Always the same questions, the opening one liners and the mindless chatter about absolutely nothing that matters. The only thing that you can count on is stunning profile pictures of beautiful boys that look like they stepped of a magazine cover. Profiles that sum up the basics and the good qualities that hook you into a long boring conversation about them and their gym schedules and how they want more out of live. All they really want is a show piece on their arm to make them look good.
You see up until recently I was all about what I can offer them and how could I make them interested in me? You end up putting so much pressure on yourself that you inevitably freeze and have no response for whatever lame ass question was posed. In actual fact the question should be what are these potentially charming knights in shining armour able to offer me? I’m a pretty decent catch even if I say so myself. More importantly I have loads to offer and why in the hell wouldn’t you want to be in a relationship with me? So I did the only thing a normal person would do, I deleted all the profiles I had. Believe it or not there were five of them. How did I manage to get five of them without even noticing? How did I let this happen? The simple answer is that I let it get out of control and consume my life. One profile was clearly not enough for my Virgo nature. I had to increase the odds by making myself more accessible and hopefully in doing so I would get the dream match. The highest compatibility match I got on the website was a 98%. Now you would think that that is a brilliant score and that Mr Right was just a mouse click away. However he turned out to be some odd looking fellow that had really nothing of an interesting or important nature to share. I had become just another statistic that was as fake and computer generated as the next guy. How on earth are you going to find the man of your dreams by answering a few cleverly phrased questions and leaving your fate in the care of some mainframe somewhere in the world? Artificial intelligence is great but I am sorry to say that we are not nearly at the point where we can willingly rely on a machine to determine who we like or not. Where is the romance and the flair in that? Where is the bold gesture of love and where oh where is the excitement and joy that comes with finding that guy you like?
Granted in today’s fast paced lifestyles you would think that internet dating is the best way to meet that dreamy Prince Charming but in this fairy tale there are only frogs and definitely no Prince’s. It is such a relieve not to feel that pressure to get home and switch on to one or other dating site to see who has bothered to look at your profile or who has sent you a message. Finding the right guy should be about spending time together and falling in love. It shouldn’t be about hooking up online and chatting about the size of your bank account or your dick. It should be about getting butterflies when you go on a date and being excited to see that person again. Dating online might be great in certain aspects if you are a statistical junky but there is no way that a computer can substitute chemistry and sparks. That, you won’t find online. The only way you find that is to chat to a real human being in real life and not in the cyber continuum where, sorry to say, you are just another pretty face and a user name.
Dating is about having fun. You need to enjoy the experience and you need to sort through the garbage to get to the good stuff. You need to have real conversations with real people and based on that and that alone you should move on or decide to pursue the possibilities with that person. Chatting online for two weeks simply can’t even begin to compare to the thrill of holding hands on the second date or getting a great good night kiss at the end of the evening. Sending pictures back and forth is simply not as great as seeing the person in real life and enjoying them in 3D. You see no matter how much we fake it online and try to put our best foot forward eventually reality has to catch up with you when you meet. So why prolong the torture for weeks on end by exchanging emails, text messages and IM’s? Rather meet the guy and then decide if you want to take it further.
The greatest problem with the gay world today is that we are all waiting for the “other” guy to make the first move. Honey, grow some big hairy ones and take a stand. Don’t hold back and don’t let it slip through your fingers. If it goes badly then at least you tried, as difficult as it is for a pessimist like me to admit it. Eventually you will get over it and little bits of your soul will start to come back slowly but surely and when you look back at it you will laugh and wonder why you made such a fuss. That’s the risk you take. Just imagine what the benefits would be if it does pay off. Love and romance and all those pretty things are out there. I have seen it and I have experienced it, even if only for a second. It’s worth putting yourself out there and taking that risk. Love is not an appointment, it’s not a deadline, it’s a thrill of a life time and it can’t be rushed. The greatest love of all is the one that takes its time to develop and mature. I know what you’re thinking and that you are probably feeling a little nauseous round about now but you know that I am right. You’re even a little curious in testing out my theories. Why be curious? Go on and do it, the only thing you have to lose is time and that is the one thing you will never get back…
Delete those profiles and start talking to real people in the here and now. Make that connection, as painful and scary as it may seem, you want to have that believe me. You can’t begin to understand love until you have lost it, and that is something that no website will ever be able to calculate or match up.
Enjoy your journey; it’s the only one you’ve got so make the most of it.
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