I often find myself wondering why we are so driven to find love and happiness right now. In a world where everything has become so fast paced and instant gratification is around every corner is it realistic of us to expect to find love right now and be happily ever after? Who can actually give me a intelligent answer on what happily ever after actually is?
Dating in this day and age has become so challenging and so etiquette driven that no one person can ever really keep up. What does it all mean? Is there any truth behind these dating tips and books that suck you in with a catchy title like “Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus”? And how do you apply these techiques to the gay scene? Well let me tell you there are simply no rules and there is just no clear cut ways of being sure of how the dating game works. I can only say that the immortal words of Charlotte
Never has more true words been spoken by anyone. All my single friends will agree, whether they admit it or not, that those very words apply to all of us.
Yes we all like our casual sex and we are pretty good at it too, its pretty basic and ther is not much you can do wrong, but isn’t there more to life then getting love for the night? We set standards for ourselves based on romantic movies where someone’s fictional perspective of what life and love should be is imprinted into our minds. Yes you would expect young teenage girls to be more susceptible to such nonsense but in reality who would not want that at any age. Grand gestures of love and romance on a daily basis is awesome but who really lives like that? Look at The Twilight Saga. Sure its based on teenagers and vampires, what a combination, but who would not want their own little Edward. His smouldering good looks suck you in and then obviously if you’re lucky he might suck you…
But real life is much harder and vampires don’t really exist and if they did, I some how think that the reality of meeting a vampire would be way more frightening.
In recent months I have really put myself out there on the market trying to make myself more dateable but all the frogs out there seems to jump out of the wood work when they smell fresh meat. It would seem the only logical and fairly emotionally safe place to meet guys is on the internet. But there are major draw backs to this method. Apart form the obvious perverts who just want to send you pictures of their dicks or invite you over for a quick bang there is a totally emotional disconnection. This is exactly where the problem lies. You check out the picture and based on that sole superficial criteria you make a judgment on the person and you either start communicating with them or you move on. Then you check out the profile which is never really going to tell you all that you need to know about that person. Its not going to say that this guy likes picking his nose in traffic or that he leaves his underwear on the floor or even that he pees in the shower. It wont say that he suffers from premature ejaculation or that he is not going to call you after the second date no matter how good you thought it went.
There is just simply no way of knowing all this without getting to know the person first. It really is a gamble. You immediately create an expectation in your mind based on this profile which often is unrealistic and set yourself up for failure ultimately. A picture speaks a thousand words but what words are those pictures actually saying to you. I think that saying should be changed to say that: “a picture speaks a thousand words that you want to hear”. An excellent example is the date I went on tonight. I started chatting to four guys this afternoon on the web and all very eager to meet and “see where it leads” but only one actual taker when push came to shove.
Nice looking boy, great pictures, short profile summing up the basics. We chatted for a few hours about various topics. He seems rather well organised and has a great smile. We arranged to meet at his place which I was concerned about because I have taken a vow of syllabise and have recently introduced my knees to each other. However I did decide to go as he seemed very sweet. So I rock up there and the pictures did do him more justice than I thought it would. The real thing was not as fantastic as the pictures were. We had coffee and chatted a bit. The conversation on the web was much more interesting that the actual thing. I was there for maybe just over an hour and found myself incredibly bored. I was polite about leaving and he was rather nice about it too. And that was the end. I will probably chat to him again some time but there was no connection or spark. Is there such a thing as a spark or is it a figment of someone’s imagination that just got out and the word spread like wild fire?
In short without boring you to death with the details of my long theories, I am of the opinion that yes love does exist. I see it all around me but you will never know if you don’t try it. Yes you might have to kiss a good couple of frogs but there is the slightest fraction of a chance that you will actually stumble upon your prince. And at the end of the day that is all that matters. If you love someone that is all that matters, the looks are pointless, the clothes are optional and people’s opinions are of no concern to you. It doesn’t matter that he leaves skid marks in the underwear you have to wash or that he farts without flinching in front of you. What you feel is real and that is all you should be focusing on who cares about other opinions, and if they feel that strongly about not dating this person then they should be glad that you are dating him and not them.
So ladies and girly boys go out there and kiss those frogs… you never know what is waiting in the next pond over….
Happy hunting
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